Confessions of a real shopaholic

Shopaholic is a funny word isn’t it? It conjures up images of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman or marching down Regent Street laughing with 10 designer carrier bags on each arm.  Here is what it looked like for me….. 

A lot of people in this industry, like Marie Kondo, were very organised, tidy children.  That is not my story.  I was hugely untidy as a child.  My Mum would practice the ‘put it all on the bed’ technique so I would have to sort it out before going to bed.  I did not like that technique.    

When I moved out of home I was young and in a relationship with my now Husband.   We lost two parents very young.  He had a great job (a drummer in a band), was away a lot and I shopped and shopped.  Shopping was a way of not dealing with things, of treating myself, cheering myself up, passing the time, essentially if it could be eased with shopping it was.

My house slowly filled up, I kept telling myself that I would sell it.  I bought giant plastic boxes to keep the stuff in (I see this pattern over and over with Clients) and just stacked them up in the spare room.   The loft was full, my garage was full, my spare room was getting full.  There was constantly stuff coming in from carboot sales, shops, charity shops, antique fairs and my beloved Ebay.   I loved the hunt for something, even if I didn’t have anything in mind.  

Ebay was my drug then. I could spend hours on there, I know the price of everything, if it was worth less then I could ‘sell’ it for, I bought it.  However I never quite got around to selling it, it just went in another box. 

I don’t know what made me buy Marie Kondo’s book.  I read a lot of self help books and it was probably on the table in Waterstones.  It was the answer I had been looking for.  It took me a long time to get through the amount of stuff I had.  I sold lots of it, I gave lots and lots to charity and slowly over the months the space transformed.  A weight came off my shoulders.   It took a long time but I honestly struggle to buy things I need sometimes now.   

If you are in a position like I was compulsive shopping is usually a way of avoiding something.  I didn’t want to deal with my grief and the ‘stuff‘ was a physical manifestation of that.   I had other help (talking therapy) and I like to say that as the inside of my head cleared my home did too.   I will share how I got here over the next few weeks but if you want to talk please get in touch.  I would love to help.